WASHINGTON, DC—President Trump’s daily brief is now being supplied by Hanes, according to Counter Terrorism Adviser Thomas Bossert. Trump was reportedly attracted to the XXL Hanes brief, specifically for it’s tagless design which he thought …
NORTH ATLANTIC—Tensions between orcas and dolphins have been simmering all summer long, but hopeful signs of progress between the two marine mammals was reported Tuesday. Apparently it was the awesomeness of blowholes, the most prominent …
BIRMINGHAM, UK—A new school of thought on genetic desirability called “eugenics” is starting to evolve. Sir Francis Galston, a polymath in statistics and anthropology began studying the phenomenon that he named after Eugene, a subject he had …
SAN FRANCISCO—The Associated Press reported Friday that a local grocery shopper, Jenny Haberman, had her concerns about fair trade coffee alleviated by Henry Gaglio, a Whole Foods clerk. Gaglio was able to reassure Haberman that …
HOLLYWOOD, CA—”Remember Me,” the Academy Award winning song from Pixar’s 2017 film Coco was inspired by an email login screen, reports Robert Lopez, co-writer of the song. “One day I was trying to login to my …
TERRA HAUTE, IN—In a surprising turnaround in US policy, Attorney General Jeff Sessions unveiled a new social program Wednesday at a press conference set up in front of a federal institution. The new government funded …
BELFAST—Citing a spike in customer satisfaction, Aer Lingus will expand its portfolio of available lingus services for its transatlantic flights in coming weeks. “CSat is crucial for an industry as competitive as air travel and …
WASHINGTON, DC—Trey Gowdy, the US Representative from South Carolina’s 4th District, is still upset that a small child’s prank cost him the use of his house elf, Dobby. Dobby, who had been in the service …
WASHINGTON, DC—There was more bad news in store for Rex Tillerson after he learned from Chief of Staff John Kelly that he was to be fired as Secretary of State while he was using the …
BERKELEY, CA—UC Berkeley Provost Marcus Littlefield announced that the university would respond to the cultural sea change by constructing a new safe space on campus. This safe space will be used to hold the tuition …
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