Asshole Brings Unopened Can to Potluck

Asshole Brings Unopened Can to Potluck

COLUMBUS, OH—An otherwise successful PTO potluck dinner was marred by the contribution of an unopened can by an unknown guest.

Maria Gonzalez, president of the local parent teacher organization, was hosting a potluck dinner for parents to discuss this year’s fundraising plans when she discovered that an unknown attendant had brought a Sweet Sue’s chicken-in-a-can.

Gonzalez was unable to identify the offending can’s owner.  Guests had laid out their offerings on a table near the entryway so it was impossible to determine who had brought which dish.  “I’m really at a loss as to who could do this,” Gonzalez told us.  “I don’t expect everyone to bring a complex homemade dish.  A can of fruit salad would have even been OK.  But this revolting chicken isn’t even warmed.  And they didn’t  bring a can opener.”

Gonzalez had reportedly narrowed down the list of possible offenders to three candidates.  When asked why it was important to determine the identity of the malefactor, Gonzalez said “I don’t think I can work in an organization with the person who could do this.”

We tried to reach Gonzalez for an update to the story, but she was not available since she had also discovered that her powder room toilet had been badly clogged and required snaking.