WASHINGTON, DC—Jerome Powell, Chairman of the Federal Reserve, has been reporting some lower bowel discomfort this past week. “Lack of liquidity has definitely been an issue”, the chairman said, “which I think has caused some inflation which in turn acted as a drag on the supply velocity and ultimately resulted in stagnation.”
Powell was appointed Fed Chairman by President Trump in February 2018, replacing Janet Yellen.
Powell’s spokesman said the chairman would try a round of quantitative easing as his next policy. “We believe that if we can achieve even a small degree of elasticity, the chairman will be able to deleverage and avoid a full-blown crisis”, the spokesman said. “Our hope is to achieve a gradual strengthening of activity while avoiding irrational exuberance.”
If this policy fails, Powell may have to resort to further rounds of quantitative easing, including QE2 and QE3.
At press time, the chairman was reportedly quite pleased to find that the gas station near Dupont Circle had made a substantial investment in commercial paper.