This Moment in History: St. Patrick Hopes to Be Celebrated with Mass Consumption of Iced Tea

ALCUITH, IRELAND—On his deathbed, witnesses reported that St. Patrick asked that his life of prayer and dedication to Christ be remembered by the somber consumption of large quantities of iced tea.

“Let this day become a day of solemn prayer,” St Patrick was reported to have said. “Let this day become a time of spiritual healing, a respite from the wicked consumption of strong drink and lascivious debauchery that has cast other nations into ill repute.”

“Let this become a day of abstinence,” he added, “and let us all enjoy our daily bread with a few beakers of iced bergamot, darjeeling, or oolong.”

Just before he passed, St Patrick was reported to be optimistic that the celebration of his memory would continue to define the Irish as sober God-fearing people, not a nation of violent carousing drunks like the English.