WASHINGTON, DC—Special Counsel Robert Mueller found a surprise waiting for him Monday when he discovered that his office chair had been replaced with a poorly built contraption made of apple crates.
Press Secretary Huckabee Sanders denied allegations that this action was retribution against the Special Counsel for leading an investigation into potential collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia.
“The president promised to cut wasteful spending”, Huckabee Sanders said. “Reckless government spending on furniture built for kings will no longer be the status quo in Washington. These spending reductions enable us to enact programs like cutting taxes on the working class without ballooning the deficit.”
An aide to Special Counsel Mueller was less certain. “It was a basic office chair that I had found in a storage closet. I really don’t see the economic argument.” The argument became even flimsier after Huckabee Sanders acknowledged that the chair had been placed in a dumpster.
When asked about the chair as he left Air Force One, Trump commented, “If he keeps complaining, I’ll have them rip up the carpet. I have a responsibility to the American taxpayer.”
The President declined to comment on reports that HUD Secretary Ben Carson had spent $30,000 on a dining room table, except to say, “Ben’s a good friend. Loyal.”